Coffee Tee — “Calmer Than You Are” Vintage Coffee Shirt

The "Calmer Than You Are" Tee

You see what happens, Larry? You see what happens when you don't have a shirt that means something? No? This is that shirt. This is a shirt with a code.

Soft, lived-in cotton — the kind that's already broken in, already been through a few things, and came out the other side calm. Because that's the whole point, man. There's a coffee. There's the phrase. "Calmer Than You Are." That's not a suggestion, that's a fact, delivered with warm muted tones and total certainty. Some poor sap out there is losing his mind over a marmot, over a rug, over the rules of a league game — and you? You're wearing this. You're drinking your coffee. You are calmer than he is.

Lightweight, breathes on the busy days, settles in nice on a Saturday when a man's got nothing but time and a full pot. Drapes over a layer, wears like a favorite you'd defend to the death. And yeah — it's a little cheeky. Good. A shirt should have an opinion. This one does. Am I wrong?

This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps, Dude. You stay calm. You wear the shirt.

Sizing Chart

	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL
Width, in	16.50	18.00	20.00	22.00	24.00	26.00	28.00	30.00
Length, in	27.00	28.00	29.00	30.00	31.00	32.00	33.00	34.00
Sleeve length, in	8.60	8.90	9.20	9.50	9.70	10.00	10.40	10.80
Size tolerance, in	1.50	1.50	1.50	1.50	1.50	1.50	1.50	1.50

Product features (these are the ground rules)

• 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, lightweight 4.2 oz — breathable, broken-in, dependable under pressure
• Retail fit with crew neckline — clean, layers easy, no nonsense
• Side seams and shoulder tape for shape retention and structure. Structure matters. This is not 'Nam.
• Ribbed knit collar and tear-away label — no irritation, no scratchy tag, the neckline holds the line
• Crisp DTF/DTG printing; REACH certified blank, sourced from Honduras

Care instructions (you want a toe? I can get you the care instructions. With nail polish.)

• Machine wash cold — max 30°C / 90°F. Cold. There are rules.
• Non-chlorine bleach, only as needed
• Tumble dry low
• Iron, steam, or dry on medium heat
• Do not dry clean. You're entering a world of pain.